Ruth Gunter Mitchell Writes...
Affecting hearts through the utility of words!
Home Book Signings Announcements Grandma's Greetings Workshop/Organization

WHAT INSPIRES ME MOST!
MAY BRANGS MOTHER’S DAY

One of Grandma’s faverite holeedays is comin’ up this month. Yep, it’s Mother’s Day. ‘Course Grandma likes it so much ‘cuz her very own two chilren always remember her with luve. Jest in case they kain’t come up with no idears ‘bout what to git Grandma, she’s makin’ a list of what she don’t want rite here to hep ‘em out a liddle.

1. Grandma don’t need no fancy hankerchiefs; she kin fine the boxes of Kleenex in Walmart fer herself.
2. Grandma mite not smell too good but she don’t want no baby powder or Jerkin’s lotion neither.
3. Grandma don’t want no flowery, sented stationery ‘cuz who’s she gonna write when all she gotta do is pick up her sale phone and try to figger out which buttons to push?
4. Grandma don’t want no dishrags ‘cuz she purty much changed over to paper these days (that is, when she ain’t jest usin’ them kerry-out napkings’).
5. Grandma don’t want no fancy Hallmark cards full ‘o money—well, least ways that ain’t what Grandma’s spectin’ to git.
6. Grandma don’t want no gift cards to no high falutin’ stake houses ‘cuz she shore kain’t chew that good no more.
7. Grandma don’t want no free trips to ‘zotic places ‘cuz she ain’t never seen all of Alabamer yet.
8. Grandma don’t want no boxes of chocolit unless’n nobody tells Grandpa she got ‘em.
9. Grandma don’t want no purty underwear ‘cuz Grandma ain’t got nuthin’ purty under to wear it on.
10. Grandma don’t need no books ‘bout improvin’ her life ‘cuz it’s awready ‘bout good as it gits.

So’s with all them don’t wants, jest what kin Grandma want fer Mother’s Day? She simply wants what ever momma in the whole wide world wants. She wants her own babies and grandbabies (no matter what their ages) to be the happiest and most blessed on God’s big ole Earth!







Spring Ain’t Jest Fer Chicks

Okay, Spring is here so what? What does Grandma think of Spring anyway? Well, it’s a well-knowed fact that Grandma likes to look at things fer what they ain’t instead of what they is, so here goes…

…Spring ain’t sleepin with cold feet all night long
(Grandpa’s, that is!).
…Spring ain’t huffin, puffin, and sweatin jest from walkin to the mailbox to git the latest credit card offers at 0% interest.
…Spring ain’t gittin inside a froze-up car with icicles hangin off the stirrin wheel.
…Spring ain’t settin in the white grainy sand at the beach and carryin over half of it back home in shoes, towels, clothes, leghairs, dentures, fingernails, etc.
…Spring ain’t meetin them grandyunguns at the door and not bein sure who they are fer the first thirty minutes ‘cause they ain’t outta their coats, hats,scarves, mittens, etc.
…Spring ain’t standin over a hot stove with sweat a pourin off yer face like raindrops,stirrin up good ole macaroni and cheese for them grandyunguns (Come to thank of it, that ain’t Summer, Fall, or Winter either).
…Spring ain’t luggin in fungus-covered, 50-lb. logs to throw on the fire to keep the grandyunguns toasty warm whiles they watch Sponge Bob Squarepants.
…Spring ain’t stayin in the swimmin hole in the backyard with the grandyunguns from sun-up to sun-baked and havin shriveled arms, legs, and other body parts that don’t ever git back to normal.
…Spring ain’t wadin through 6 feet of leaves jest to take a grandyungun and put her in her car seat ‘cause her momma can’t do it to suit her jest right.

So, jest what is Spring to Grandma? Hey, it’s perfect timin ‘cause it ain’t none of the above!


CHECK

AMAZON.COM

FOR LISTING
  • I would rather be a grandmother than a writer.
  • Grandchildren make life fun at just the right time.
  • I thank God that He gave me the children He did.
  • I thank God that He gave my children my GRANDCHILDREN!

GRANDCHILDREN!